I've been thinking a lot about female identity and sexuality. Last week I had a long conversation with a friend about what sexuality was. We came up with several definitions, but mostly, we concluded that sexuality could include any kind of expression; emotional, intellectual... But something tangible. We thought that maybe sexuality in general was just about the tangible, the temporal, but all stemming from human expression. The biological act of sex itself is an expression of pheromones and chemical reactions within the brain that encourage reproduction. Sex is a product of evolution incorporating desire and attraction to attributes that will perpetuate the human race. If we're taking the Freudian angle, every seeming innocuous act is hinged on sexual desire. But what if it's really just about desire? My friend and I seemed to come to the conclusion that sexuality and desire could nearly be interchanged as long as the desire was bodily related.

When I got home, I looked up the term 'sexuality' and it basically means 'the possession of functional and structural traits of sex.' The term sex basically means the biological act of reproduction between species. However, what does it mean to reproduce a species? I think that there are biological events that contribute to the reproduction of species in simple things like music or laughter or eating. The same kinds of chemical reactions occur, brain chemistry changes, and studies have been done to prove that things like laughter and pleasure enhance the human experience by strengthening synapses, developing parts of the brain, and improving the ability to be creative. So the term sexuality really could include anything that perpetuates humanity (generally involving pleasure, but let's face it; sex can be unpleasurable).

What got me thinking was Kathy's exploration of sexuality. She generally plays second fiddle, but regarding sex, she seems to be a forerunner. I was especially intrigued by the scene where she takes the porn stash that Keffer (or is it Keefer...) left behind into the shed. I didn't pick up on it until later, that she is looking for her own face in the magazines because she is aware of how powerful her desire for sex is. I like the metaphor of how she is searching for her own identity in the culture of sex outside of the clone world. The exploration of sex in the clone world is perpetuated by the outside world. I wonder what would have happened if the Guardians hadn't explained sex at all. But the infiltration and obsession with understanding what happens "out there" is also a form of desire and identity building for Tommy. He desires to know what is really going on. And once Miss Lucy tells him that how creative he is doesn't define him, and once he starts to draw his animals for his own artistic satisfaction, he, in a sense, discovers himself.

And yet, as a whole, I feel that the clone culture betrays sexuality. That none of them really desire anything. I also wonder if there is some kind of betrayal of the fact that a new race of humans who don't reproduce biologically could have any kind of attraction to the opposite gender. Perhaps the mutation is too close to it's original time and hasn't had time to evolve. But I can't help thinking that this generation of clones doesn't understand sexuality at all, despite their exploration of it. That they feel no attraction for the opposite sex, and that being "in a couple" is only to prevent disease and satisfy a biological craving.